The Scott Monument in Princess Street Gardens and I tweeted this reaction to it:

As you can see I was less than impressed by the suggested that Shrek is the number 1 fictional Scot and before anyone starts I don’t think that list was in order from best to worst. My issue is more the fact that how is Shrek Scottish? The Shrek movies are based in a fantasy land with the only named location being Far Far Away (where Shrek‘s wife Princess Fiona is originally from). Now last time I checked Far Far Away wasn’t a real place – and no Disneyland and LA don’t count!

On top of this, there has been no suggestions in any of the four Shrek movies that Shrek‘s world has any link to ours. (I haven’t seen Puss in Boots but I’m sure Scotland doesn’t make an appearance in that movie either!) Unlike Harry Potter or Narnia, Shrek‘s world is in a self contented place similar to Westeros but with less sex and violence. Therefore he can’t be Scottish. Sure he may have a Scottish accent in the first two films – the accent becomes more Canadian in the last two movies – but it maybe that people/ogres from the Swamp – where Shrek lives – happen to have Scottish accents.

If we followed the logic that because Shrek has a Scottish accent there must be a Scotland in his world, then Sheffield seems to have magically portals to both the aforementioned Westeros and Gondor or, the more likely explanation is, that Sean Bean has played characters from both regions and he isn’t great at accents. Check out Percy Jackson and the Lightning Theft if you ever wondered what Zeus with a Yorkshire accent would sound like.

The more annoying thing is that there are plenty of famous Scottish fictional people. We are not short of them. Why not Doctor Who‘s Amy Pond? Or how about James Bond? Sherlock Holmes has a better claim for being Scottish than Shrek does. The man who inspired the great detective was a Scottish lecturer at the University of Edinburgh called Dr Joseph Bell.

What I’m trying to say is that with a bit of extra thought we could have had an actual Scot on the list rather than an ogre with a slipping accent!